Hey Sweets. Been thinking about you a lot these past few days. As the years pass an odd thing seems to be happening. Things seem to get easier and more difficult at the same time.
Been trying to grab onto tiny pieces of happy lately. A little Christmas duck that lights up when you float him in water. LED star lights for the livingroom. A few hours alone at the Cafe with a gingerbread latte and a good comic book.
Often wonder if you would read comic books by now? Would you think my taste in comix was old fashioned or weird? What would be your favorite series?
Nan was here earlier tonight. She mentioned that when her son was growing up, she kept him suitably armed with lots of caps. First his favorite was Superman, of course. But then the cape turned Goth or Renaissance, you know? I wondered. Would you have been a cape kid, too?
There have been a fair share of down days and sleepless night lately, too. General restless, "What the heck am I doing with my life?" stuff. I wondered if you would have kept me too busy to be sleepless? Or would my insomniac wrestles have spilled over into my parenting?
It's all questions, isn't it? Pointless ones at that. But it's the way I think about you sometimes. Whisps of wondering. Seems that's all that's left now.
Though I admit to looking at the clipping of your hair the other night. And then spending days dreaming up a good comic book plot about a bereaved mother who take her dead son's hair clipping to have his DNA made into a clone. And the cloned son is born with superpowers. You know, a good old fashioned Saga, comix style.
just love you, my dear. And missing you yet again for this holiday season.